Blue

[ralphmelton]

In my first journal entry, I mentioned that I wanted to dye my hair a brilliant color temporarily, but I was holding off because of the upcoming wedding and the prospect of meeting customers.

In yesterday's staff meeting at work, it sounded as if I wasn't going to be meeting customers for a month or two. so I asked whether I'd be meeting customers soon. Mark knew that I was really asking "Will it create problems if I dye my hair?" He was kind of derisive about my desire and implied strongly that I was too old for such things, but he grudgingly agreed that it would probably be okay.

At night, then, Lori and I were talking about how Mark can be somewhat difficult to get along with these days, because the stress of trying to get our company to take off is really being hard on him.

As we were going to bed, then, I recalled the conversation with Mark. I retold it to Lori.

I figured that it would be another anecdote of my having trouble getting along with Mark.
I thought Lori shared my enthusiasm for the idea of temporarily dyeing my hair, and now that Mark had given the grudging go-ahead, we would start giddily plotting a recoloring for me. I was expecting that we'd discuss the relative merits of a brilliant jewel blue or a warm purple.
I was wrong.
I was so wrong.

Lori views the idea with apprehension.

She didn't understand why I want to do this, and asked me why. For my part, I have trouble explaining it, because it seems obviously cool to me.
It's cool.
It's exotic.
It's flamboyant.

Lori said, "Many of the people around you won't understand why you're doing this."
This is code for something I don't understand, because on the face of it, it shouldn't matter whether other people understand; why should I care? But it might mean 'I don't understand', and that I do care about.

So I've been feeling very sad by her disapproval. And my inner voice is saying This is what happens when you want things. This is why it's wrong to want things.

Lori feels really bad about making me feel so sad. She says, "I'm sorry" over and over. I know she does feel sorry. But I don't know how to respond.

She suggests things like coloring my hair very briefly, so that no one sees it. That's not satisfactory to me, and I can't explain why.

This is so messed up. Everyone I know has bigger problems than this. Even I have bigger problems than this. I feel like such a whiner for being so sad about this. This too is one of the bad effects of wanting things.

Comments

[rubylou.livejournal.com]

I'm still "at the age" where I dye my hair all sorts of colors, and I probably always will be. Jane's hair is purple right now, and she loves it. But then, this is Seattle, where you can't walk through a single building at Microsoft without seeing crayon-colored hair every fifty feet.

I'm the wrong person to discuss this with, perhaps, because I love oddity. However, if you DO decide to dye your hair, I would suggest getting a colored cellophane. It's better on your hair, and will give your highlights a brilliant color. In order to get a jewel tone using hair dye, you'd have to strip the color from your hair first.

Email me if you want more tips on this. I've been doing it for years.

[ralphmelton.livejournal.com]

Yeah, part of my sentiment is "I'm a software jock. It's par for the course for techies to have wacky appearances."

This colored cellophane tip is just the sort of information I yearn for--thank you much for that information. Is it permanent? (I don't want to make a permanent change in my hair right now.)

Many thanks.

[rubylou.livejournal.com]

It is not permanent, but will last for a few months. And it's good for your hair. It simply places a protein/cellophane coating over the hairshaft, strengthening it and adding color. They come in some beautiful jewel shades, as well as more conventional colors. Call around to various salons. I've gotten Matrix's "Prizms", (a protein coat) several times in purple and blue.

and if purple is what you like...

[jeliza]

We did my hear in Clairol's Natural Instincts Exotic in Balinese Amethyst. This is *not* a permanent color. If you follow the directions on the box, you will get subtle purple highlights that will wash out in about a month. Given that our hair is similar, if you do what I did (leave it on for 40 minutes) you will get deep brown-black hair with purple highlights that are extremelu subtle in indoor light, and bright outside. It will become bright as the color washes out, especially if you use a condition that is not for colored hair, and should last a bit longer (and if you want it to go away, just use conditioner repeatedly.) Like a cellophane, it won't strip your hair.